Review Parenting Styles
Review the basic parenting types, role play each of them with your kids and listen to their input
- Authoritarian or Disciplinarian
In the extreme, they set rules "because they say so" without giving explanations or reasons. They do not negotiate and focus on obedience. Usually they don't allow kids to have an opinion but prefer to make the rules and enforce the consequences. They may use punishments instead of discipline and focus on mistakes.
- Permissive or Indulgent
They are quite forgiving and believe that ""kids are kids, so let them be."" They give privileges back if a child begs. They sometimes take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They encourage discussion, but usually don't try hard to discourage poor choices or bad behavior.
- Uninvolved
They expect children to ... raise themselves! They don't devote much time to cover children's needs and may even be neglectful. Or, they do not know about child development. They seem overwhelmed with their own life and problems, like work, paying bills, and managing the household.
- Authoritative or assertive
They have rules and they use consequences and make it clear that the adults are in charge; at the same time, they consider their children's opinions and validate their feelings. They invest time and energy into preventing behavior challenges before they start. They use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior, like reward systems.
An assertive parent is open to suggestions, discussions and alternative views that children can suggest. Also, s/he creatively finds solutions to meet the needs of both kids and parents. To be assertive:
- Listen and try to understand
- Acknowledge and care for their feelings - and your own
- Respect your children
- Send clear messages about your expectations
- Establish clear rules
- Praise positive behavior
- Plan ahead proactively
- Model behaviors
- Encourage responsibility
- Give children the privilege to help around the house
Assertive parents consider each child as a separate individual and allow them opportunities to grow and develop.
